Finding the perfect job and finding the perfect partner

Since when has applying to jobs become akin to swiping on dating apps? At first, when writing this article, I felt like this was an amazing revelation. Soon, I realized that it was a pretty obvious feature many of us young folks were beginning to understand. 

You start your search hopeful. Maybe you're looking for something that catches your eye. Could be the high salary, (they’re wearing a Patek Phillipe ), or the short commute (tinder shows he’s >1 mile away). Then you reach your limit of applying, dating, trying- to where you’ll take anything at this point… and have begun looking at retail jobs… even though you have five years of experience and a bachelor's degree… (desperate).

Finding the perfect job is like finding the perfect partner. Both seemingly impossible tasks in today’s oversaturated job market, and unrealistic dating pool.

However, somehow, some way, I still have hope for us! The perfect job and perfect partner is out there for you, (and me). This leads me here to write an article that is a one-stop shop for all things you should consider when looking for both.

And my qualifications you may ask? A single, unemployed girl in her 20’s. 

Let's jump right into it.

So when meeting someone, you consider the superficial (it’s okay, me too). How do they present themselves? In terms of a job, this translates to how this will look on my resume. Then after a good once over, or reading over the job and company description, you ponder. 

Am I attracted to them? Am I interested in this job?

If so yay- Lucky them. Then you move into conversation. Topics include Past Relationship (Company) History, (Organization) Values, and Lifestyle Compatibility.

When chatting about these sorts of topics, you are able to get to know the person (position) and understand how they could fit into your life, and vice versa. This is only the first date, aka screening interview; don't talk too deeply into things. You don't want to get your hopes up just yet. You are simply testing the waters- seeing if this person/position could be something that really interests you.

If there seems to be a mutual connection after the first date, and you’ll get a call or text asking you about another, then we can get a little excited, and I mean only a little. 

Also, pro tip. Don't seem too eager- play a little hard to get. Be honest, and make sure they know that you are a catch, because you are, any person or company would be lucky to have you. But you should believe it too. When you truly believe in yourself, in both dating and job hunting, it makes the process go much smoother. 

It’s like being a salesperson, it is much easier to pitch an idea, item, etc, if you truly believe in its benefits or the need for such a thing on the market. 

It’s easy to be a person someone would want to date or hire if you really know you are the shit- in a seemingly humble yet overqualified way of course. But don't be desperate. You wouldn’t want to date someone who has been with every letter of the Greek alphabet from Alpha to Zeta? Or be a part of a company that’ll accept that dude who cheated off you in high school yet still smoked a bunch of dope and never invited you to his super cool house parties !! (That's right, Hunter, I’m talking about you). 

Confession: I actually don't know a Hunter and was a goody two shoes in high school, but I digress.

So where were we? Second date!

They probably think you're really hot, and so qualified too.

You two begin to ask each other harder questions, diving deep into each other’s past, present, and future. If things are going well, then it might even flow naturally. 

I find in, my personal experience, in both dating and job hunting, it's a good sign when I can build a rapport with the person I'm chatting with. This is especially true if, for the job position, I would be working alongside the person interviewing me. I would like to hold a conversation with relative ease in both my work environment and personal life. So if there is a certain level of comfort conversing during the second meeting, it's a positive sign. 

I must note here- I work (or will work) in the humanities, so interviews are often less technical. If you happen to be a STEM girl or are entering a field where the job process is going to require some demonstration of various skill sets, drawing a direct comparison to the interview process and dating may be a little bit above my pay grade. That is unless your dream partner is going to whip out some code or a crossword puzzle on the second date and ask you how to solve it, or process it, or whatever. If you're going for that type, though, I fully support it- I’m sure you and your partner will love doing the super hard challenge version of New York Times Games together in the morning.

Back on track Regardless of your dating type or job field, be prepared for some sneaky hypothetical/get-to-know-you questions. What would you do in ___ situation or how would you spend an ideal weekend? 

Feel free to throw a couple of hypothetical or get-to-know-you questions back if they give you room. You can ask about the company culture, their aspirations/possibilities for growth in the role, or how your potential partner would handle __ situation. This shows you are not only prepared for those sneaky questions but also that you have done your research in getting to know them / the company. 

They should be then impressed by your wit and charm, and passion for the role to move you along for the third date/interview.

This is the make-or-break date. I would always tell my mother if they make it to a fourth date that I'm really into them. It's the same with job interviews; if you make it to the third interview, they're really into you. However, you're not exclusive, yet you need to be aware that they're still into other people. And if you're competitive like me, you're going to need to win. You might even reject them in the end; that's fine, but you have to get that job offer. You have to get that fourth date. And so this is the mindset we enter date three in.

So some things to be prepared for, the third date could include meeting some of their friends, (being interviewed by more than one person), and going to their place (touring company headquarters and adjoining facilities). If you're prepared for all these things and you put on your best charm etc you have a good chance of securing your partner and the job.

After whatever third-meeting activities happen, I allow myself to daydream. To wander a little bit outside reality to truly visualize how this job would look in my life. I mean, how would life look with this person? 

That slip may actually sum up why I am single haha….ha.

Anyway,  while waiting for either that fourth date text or job offer, allow yourself to think a bit about how either fits into your life. You have the power to say yes I want this or no I don’t, unless you are in the desperate stage which will maybe have to be its column because whew, have we all been there (in both job hunting and or perfect partner hunting)...  am I right?? 

However, do not create your own version of this person or job. We are not falling in love with the idea of what a job could be in a few years if it goes to the gym regularly, stops ordering takeout, and actually finishes merging with that big firm and all the company stocks go through the roof.

Understood? We can take the tangible facts and then the potential within those facts, but we are not going to create our own little delulu realities. We’ve been there and done that. 

Okay. Let's chat benefits.

Rule 1: If you're making a pros and cons list and you can't think of many great reasons why you want to be with this person off the top of your head then maybe you're just not that into them. And that's okay! It's perfectly fine to admit that you are not into somebody. It is also okay to also admit that they might have a lot of great qualities, but you don't feel like they're the right person for you. In both job hunting and dating, I would say trust your gut. However, I do know with job hunting there is money involved… well I guess maybe in dating, there is money involved as well if you're dating for um … you know…

I'm not going to go there, but y'all can fill in the blanks.

If at the end of the day, all you're looking for is a temporary job or a temporary partner then it's okay for them to not check all your boxes. Otherwise, remember to stand on business and don't settle. Maybe even do some soul-searching of your own. Think about whether or not you'd want to date yourself or hire yourself. How can you improve upon your various skill sets? In what ways can you improve as a person? If you're here thinking there is nothing I can improve about myself, I’m perfect- then no offense but you're one Cocky …., and I don’t think I’d want to hire or less date you. As I mentioned earlier, being confident yet humble is usually the way to go. 

Regardless, it's good to know that there are at least some good benefits right?

For a job, it may be items such as

Full coverage of insurance 

A month PTO

Stock options

For a partner maybe 

Good chemistry

They have a cute dog

Brings you flowers 

Great chemistry 

Always opens the door

Fantastic Chemistry

You consider also lifestyle

Will this salary provide me with my lifestyle? Am I going to have to negotiate?

Partner, do they fit into my lifestyle? Am I going to have to compromise?

Also location,

Now that you've maybe seen the facilities or things are getting more serious you really begin to realize, oh my gosh, am I willing to drive do this weird mid-distance thing where they live an hour and a half from me? Or am I willing to sit in DFW traffic every day to get to work? Or do I even like the cubicle I'm going to be assigned to work out of, or in their place really messy?

Lastly and most importantly, I would encourage you to think 

Is the job or partner going to challenge me, empower me, and encourage me in my journey to be the person I want to be?

Realistically speaking, no job or person is going to be perfect. If you have your priorities straight and an idea of what you're looking for, you have a great chance of finding both your ideal partner and your dream job. Hopefully, this article provides light-hearted laughs and helpful tips for navigating that journey.